The Hand Of Influence

As a young man who grew up in the inner city, I was introduced to alot of negative influences early on. That is what happens when you're  the bi product of a single parent home. You often spend time wondering how different things would be if your dad was around.  But the distractions keep you busy enough so that you don't have to worry about those things for too long. The thing about negativity is that its always around waiting for you.

Getting involved in those things so early meant growing up way too fast. Though I had some male figures in my life, many were older versions of what I was becoming.  We could relate to one another but its hard to take advice from someone who STILL had the same issues as you. I wish someone would have told my father to hang around and school me so I didn't have to suffer for it. I wasted so much of my young life being involved in drugs and drinking and women. From trying to fit in with the in-crowd to developing a persona that gave the impression that I was tougher than I really was at the time.

I did a lot to over compensate for not having a father around. I hope that we as men can begin to see the impact we can have on future generations. Men don't realize the power they posses! The strength its takes to refrain from making emotional choices. The discipline it takes to see a task through to the end (even when you're tired). The will to make tough choices for the benefit of your child (that you'll be hated for later) and not even bat an eye. These are some of the things men must learn to do so that they may teach their children.

I know for a fact that women do the job of fathers more times than not and though she does it, what does that say about men? Are we not capable of guiding future leaders and giving them the tools they need? I am thankful for the job my mom did with me. I just wondered what if sometimes?...What if he would have been around all this time? Would it've mattered?

 I have good relationships with my kids and Im happy I made the decision to stay. Of course they are tight with their mother. I expect that. But I know that one day they'll know. They'll understand the sacrifice made for them. I just hope I'm around to see it. Often times the influence of a father isn't seen until years later. I've had to walk a long road without a father. A road with many twist and turns.

 I've made some bad decisions along the way but I've learned from them. All of my experiences have made me into the man I have become. I have tried to do the best I can as a father and I hope to help aid my children along so they dont make the same mistakes I made. Mistakes that took  more than a decade to fix. Mistakes that could land them in jail for years, mistakes that could make them teenage parents. mistakes that could kill them.

I dont want that for them. I want to be prouder of them than I am now and Im pretty damn proud of my kids!  Its something to see them transform in front of your eyes but that's a perk of staying around! Brothers my message is simple. Don't ROB your children of your presence. Protect you seed. Nuture it, Sacrifice for it, and love it.   Your influence is essential to the well being of the future. Your future! Remember it doesn't matter where you start the race just be a  willing participant and see it through...Til the END. You'll be So Proud.  Happy Father's Day. Be well.  -A. Brown

Misplaced Priorities

Often times we lose sight of what's important in our lives. How does this happen? Sometimes we get a little busier than we should or we take little things for granted or we waste our precious time on things that are not worthy of us. In these times it is always a blessing that something or someone comes along and helps us to realize whats important. I have seen a few of these examples as well as experienced a few of my own. Wanna hear one? Well here it go...


I recently went back to work after being on spring vacation. I arrived to see several dozen kids wearing sneakers that I personally know cost 200 dollars. I probably wouldn't have paid attention but so many kids had on the same color shoes that I couldn't help but notice. I just started counting the money. two hundred here and there and the amount just kept rising. Before I knew it. I had counted ten THOUSAND dollars worth of sneakers!! So many of those kids had the same shoes on that I began to become disgusted. First, I believe anything made in a factory or warehouse can be sold for anything. This means that these shoes can be sold for a lot less and they would still make the corporations happy at the end of the quarter.  Second and most importantly, what really upset me was the fact that the parents of several of those kids (who aren't stellar students by the way) could spend 200 hundred dollars on a pair of tennis shoes but didn't feel compelled to buy their children pencils and paper. (10 pack of pencils 1 dollar. pack of paper 2 dollars) Several students asked me for materials and I was dumbfounded because I couldn't believe what I was seeing! Then it hit me. WHAT are we teaching our children really? What is their perception? If they are watching us then what are WE doing? 
Here it is...


 Misplaced priorities. When you are defined by what's on your feet rather than by what's in your heart then you have misplaced your priorities. When our children are falling by the way side and failing badly while we tend to our own wants and needs then our priorities are misplaced. Lastly, when we value status more than we value relationships we have misplaced our priorities.


Please believe me when I say that I am not standing on a soap box. I believe that there are times when things need to be said. We are all human and we are all guilty of misplacing priorities. But it is imperative that we do better and BE better. It makes no sense that we are going to off the deep end and as long as we look like we have it together its ok. It's not.  By no means am I saying not to buy your children nice things but we need to remember that there simply is no substitute for morals and values. Those things are investments that we pass on to future generations. Watering it down with materials is not a suitable option. Bottom Line GET IT TOGETHER! THINK ABOUT YOUR DECISIONS! THEN REACT ACCORDINGLY!  The relationships we fail to nuture will wane and eventually die unless we take the time to make important people in our lives a priority. I know I need to do better. Im sure you do too.  Let's take heed and make people stand there and count up the values that we gave to others until the number is too high for them to fathom. Be well...                      -    A. Brown

Lessons Learned

Its always tough to see your way clear when your in the midst of a storm. I can personally attest to this because in the last year, I have faced some really tough times. So tough that I had to look around and say this CANNOT be my life!! I've taken into account that everybody goes through things but it seems that I'm dealing with my own special kind of hell. Now before I go on let me say that yes I still have my health and my job and all of my fingers and toes but it seems that there have been many situations that I have been placed in and not faired the way I think it should have gone. Through all these things though I have learned a few lessons that I think will serve anybody if you just think on it and follow through. Here are a few that I hope you can benefit from...

Please know that everybody does not care for you NO MATTER WHAT!!: Yes I said it! Thinking that just because you are a good person, you pay tithes at your church, You have two of Jerry's kids living with you, and that you feed the homeless and read them bedtime stories nightly, and that you have a Platinum stamped pass into heaven does not mean SQUAT! There are people who do not like you just because you didn't die in your sleep. (Lol) If they had their way you would have no hands, arms and only one leg to hop your ass out of the door. Know that there will NEVER be a compromise with this person. They hate you and will never look at you like a person with a mind heart and soul. Make sure you keep an eye on these folks because secretly they plot to do you in. Whenever you're in their presence just smile so they suck their teeth at you. Tell them that the blouse they are wearing goes so well with their hair and that you have some matching glitter for them (they HATE that). Whatever you do (Watch Your Back!!!!)

Take Advantage of Time: I wish I would have finished the degree, spent more time with the kids, saved more money, learned the specifics of the promotion before it was posted...

These are all situations created because we squandered our time away. I am SOOOO guilty of this and it has come back to haunt me time and time again. Right now I know I should have completed my Master's Degree but I didn't value my time. So here I am underpaid like a mutha! Its my own fault though! If I would have gotten it I probably would not be worrying about should I pay Pepco or Washington Gas this month?? I know it may be funny but it is many peoples reality. I heard a brother say to start thinking of time in hours as opposed to days and weeks. I though it was genius because when you view time in days you think you have just that. Days! It seems like a long time but in actuality its not. When you view time in hours you realize you have 24 hours in a day. Eight of those hours go to sleep,one to getting up dressed and moving, two go to commuting, one goes to bathroom time. one to eating, eight to working, three to interact and socialize and boobtube. Here is my point, How can you accomplish anything of substance when all your time is gone? Count it up for yourself if you don't believe me!

Make Informed Decisions From Good Counsel: There is nothing wrong with not knowing what to do. The problem comes in when you dont have a clue and you wing it anyway. This is called "Dumbassness" and it is a disease that is crippling folk exponentially. Please don't let it overtake you. Always get advice from level headed people. Especially positive people who are knowledgable in specific areas. What kills me are people who ask people for advice who don't know anymore than you DO! Be willing to admit that the advice you got from someone suspect is like eating bad meat. It's coming back to haunt you and very soon! Without good counsel it could be very costly. Your hard earned dollars should benefit directly from your informed decisions.

These are a few of the lessons I have learned and relearned along the way to forward progression. I consider myself fortunate that I still have all my facilities and my extremeties. I pray it doesn't take you as long. Be well...  -A. Brown

The Power of One

Yesterday I had what I consider to be an "ah hah" moment.  I decided to grab some oatmeal for breakfast so I headed to McDonald's. When I pulled into the shopping center I noticed a women who was sitting in her car broke down in the middle of a four way intersection. Smack dab in the middle! It's a mean position to be in. I pulled into McD's and parked my truck and just sat there and watched. I sat there for several minutes just to see if anyone would stop and help her. Sure enough, NO ONE stopped to help this women. I went on ahead and walked over to assist her. I told her to put the car in neutral and I would just push her out of harms way. Then the funniest thing happened.

As I began to push the car a guy came out of nowhere and offered his help! So now its two of us we were about 150 feet from the gas station so we were gonna roll her car on in when TWO more guys RAN over to assist! I was like wow! Before you know it the lady was sitting at the pump and able to handle things on her own. We had done the good deed of the day thing and everything was once again right with the world.

 I walked back over to McDonald's and as I stood in line it hit me...Why was it that when I sat in my car and WATCHED the lady did no one offer to help? Remember I said earlier that I sat there for several minutes. I watched dozens of cars ride by her without as much as glancing in her direction. But as soon as I took the initiative to aid her folk came out of the wood work! I learned a lesson. I learned that sometimes it only takes you to champion a cause for things to get off the ground. Its called "the power of one".

There are many things to do and not enough doers who are willing to do them. There will always be nay sayers present. Thats their job! It basically comes down to you being willing to serve and do whats necessary. That's the mark of a leader. We have the power to change ANY circumstance we face. Here's another thing that hit me... After we pushed the car to the gas station there were people who applauded what we did. Here's the catch. They had to have been the same people who rode by and didn't offer any help to begin with. Ain't that funny? But guess what? It shows that you can win people over with your actions. I didn't help the women to be recognized. I just help her because she needed it. I got satisfaction out of helping her. Thats the power of one in action. I believe when you do those little things for others it always comes back to you. It's its own reward. Remember you can change the world through your words, thoughts and actions. You're greater than any super hero you've seen or read about. It starts with you! Do you believe that what you do matters? I PROMISE you it does! Take the first step. Stop watching... get out of your comfort zone... Walk over to the situation... and PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-A. Brown

The Darkness of Complacency

Recently, I had just completed a task that should have been done. Back in the summer of June 2011, I wanted to change my light fixture in my basements' music room to something more contemporary. I had looked at some lighting and decided to go with a few options. When I got the lighting I wasn't quite sure about it and ultimately decided with a more traditional yet sleek model. The track lighting I had gotten for the basement didn't suit the room. I decided to put it in the kitchen. So after I got the wiring done in the kitchen (shout out to Vic Fub for the wiring) I was all set to put the track lights up. I decided to put it on the back burner.
 I had a light on the hood of the stove so I figured that I could get by. The stove light was ok but by no means did it do the kitchen justice. Weeks went by then months followed. I continued using the stove light eventually getting used to it. My family was used to it. It was cool. No big deal. Fast forward. Six months later. We had gone through summer, fall and now the dead of winter. I decide that Im going to finally put the track lighting up. I had went to the Home Depot in my area and gotten some advice. I set out to fix the problem! When I got home I looked at the light and decided "I'll do it tomorrow" which turned into the next day and then the next week.
Well...here we are January 2012. I finally decide this is going to be the day. I gathered the pieces, I located my drill, the drill bit for walls and I proceed to install the light.
I started getting upset because before I started I thought that this light was so complex and there was no way I would be able to put it up without causing severe damage to myself or others. But as I continued to put the light together I realized the light was not difficult to put together at all. As a matter of fact, it got so easy from placing the  strip lights on the track to drilling holes in the ceiling to mounting the toggle bolts in place, that I felt invincible!
Then the moment of truth came... I hit the switch and BAM! The light lit up the kitchen like the 4th of July! I was amazed! I stared in awe of what I had accomplished. You couldn't tell me anything! I was the man! Stuck my chest out prided by my work. I had conquered the ultimate mountain! I just watched it. Looked around. watched it. Looked around. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I had just completed a task in about 40 minutes. My smile slowly turned to anger and disgust. You see, though I had accomplished this task, I had turned a forty minute task into a procrastination project that took over six months to complete. I had gotten so used to the old drab lighting that my dysfunctional kitchen offered that I had completely lost sight of what could have been. I had squinted so much that it was normal and never once did I question the source. I just looked at it as if it was no big deal. But guess what?? It WAS!!!
As you move through your circumstance, please understand that some of the things that have happened to you are a result of the fact that you have "put them off" til a better time has presented itself. The problem is that as you wait for the opportune time, you adjust to the "darkness" and become complacent in it. There are situations that require your immediate attention yet you wait until it turns into a daunting task. My task took me six months but some people have been procrastinating for YEARS!!! Can you imagine going through your whole life in darkness when you had the power and the option to turn on the light and see the ENTIRE time? I implore you to reconsider.
Whatever your waiting on or whatever is keeping you from your destiny, find within yourself the strength to overcome your fear or laziness. Remember your best life is waiting for you. It always has been. It's sitting there ready to shine. -A. Brown