The Need For Added Value

 by  Alex Brown

It has often been said that is takes all kinds of people to make the world go round. Now if you would have asked me that question a few decades ago I probably would have disagreed. But after you've lived and seen a few things I can say with complete confidence YES! Some folk are OUT of their mind! People come in all different shapes sizes and colors and we as human beings must learn to celebrate the similarities as well as the differences in everyone. Love it or hate it people are the way they are. But I do believe that because some of peoples motives may not be completely solid that you have to engage cautiously. Everybody is not trying to see you progress and some folk want to straight up kill you vibe and your dreams. Do you know of any? Can you recognize what they do beneath the surface?  Today I want you discuss a few and see if you can recognize anyone you may know. Lets go...


The Drainer or Taker


The drainer/taker  literally sucks the life out of any situation. They are the people who always take. They are incapable of giving. It hurts them to do this.  Birthday? Superbowl? Shower?They are coming! They are the ones that attend every party/event but NEVER bring anything. Never offer an encouraging word. Poison! They are generally walking around with a plate that's full of food with their cup brimming with ice and your GOOD stuff. They are always in need of something. a loan, a ride, a meal, common sense! They  are negative people who things just never seem to fall the right way for. They constantly complain and bring you down in the process. Their hands look like cups! You know someone like this don't you? You have that person in mind? I know you do because I can vividly remember talking about THIS person and someone else calling me to talk about another person like this. They are legion! Trust me! There are too many to count. It's a sad reality but let me offer this... We actually NEED these people. Why you ask? What for? All they do is take! Well, here's the first thing, they remind us of the things we DON'T want to become. 2nd. They provide endless commentary for us to get on the phone and bitch and complain to others about what they don't do! (I always feel better when I get done complaining about them) The best thing you can do is to keep the number of drainers in your life to a minimum. Believe it or not, you can actually control the amount of drama you have coming in. I'm a witness. 


Just Enoughers


The Just Enougher is the person stays right there on the edge and does just enough to make their presence known. They are generally people who are nice and likable. They are accepted because we like pleasant people. JE's never want to get into a debate or confrontation because they don't want to offend others and are too scared to debate or defend their point. They would rather just be cool and keep things light. JE's are very safe. They never want to overextend themselves. They do more than the drainers in the grand scheme of things but not enough to make a significant difference. You may notice that they are there and then again you may not. It depends on the person. The hardest thing to deal with is that They are right on the verge of being able to do and be something some very special BUT the character flaw will always come back and resurface right before they do because THIS kind of person believes that it truly doesn't take all that!!! Its like bland fried chicken. You can eat it but ehhhh...You know someone like this don't you? You can see them cant you?


Givers or VA's

These people are the crux to any organization and group. Givers are the reason why things get done and why they get done well. They are the people who make our lives better and put our minds at ease. When they walk in the room people are relieved or excited. VA's  are the ones who buy extra tickets, bring extra food, challenge us to be better, get the ball rolling on things. They are the self starters who never have to be asked to do. VA's just go where the need is. They are the movers, the shakers, the workers, the fighters, the dreamers, the doers, VA's are what I call value adders. They help us to be more and do more. They are efficient.  Often times they don't want or need accolades because they are not here for that. Its just "what they do". They challenge us to think and push us to our limits.  When they leave things are in a better state. You know someone like that don't you? People that add value to your life are like precious jewels. Often times they are our life lines. They speak life and vision into us when death and darkness are all around. Their kind and encouraging words resonate in our souls long after they've been spoken. They live to inspire others. You have someone in mind that does that don't you? 


Here's the Hook

I'm sure you know all these people and can put a face with a name. Here's the thing... At some point, we all have been a "drainer/taker" or a person that does "just enough" but the goal is to get to a point where the main thing that we do... the ONLY thing we do is add value. Doing more requires more effort and time but it also gives a bigger sense of satisfaction and self worth. People who are VA's know that their pitcher cant be refilled if it is full.  Drainers/Takers CAN'T add value because all they do is bring negative energy to a situation. Just enoughers can but choose not to add value because they are only willing to give just enough to get by. Only givers GIVE without consequence because they understand the reason for it. It makes everybody better. Being better is what we should all strive to be.  People that add value to your life change you in ways that are sometimes hard to explain but you know that whatever they brought was needed. If you have VA's in your life DON'T let them go. They are not easily replaceable. They are lifelines that are meant to help you along your journey. Its difficult to find them because there are so many pretenders. But when you find them...you know. They are remarkable folk who are worth their weight in gold! Take inventory on the people in your life and see where they fall. You'll be surprised. But remember YOU are the most valuable thing and the people around you MUST add to that...because you're worth it. Be well...A.Brown