Getting involved in those things so early meant growing up way too fast. Though I had some male figures in my life, many were older versions of what I was becoming. We could relate to one another but its hard to take advice from someone who STILL had the same issues as you. I wish someone would have told my father to hang around and school me so I didn't have to suffer for it. I wasted so much of my young life being involved in drugs and drinking and women. From trying to fit in with the in-crowd to developing a persona that gave the impression that I was tougher than I really was at the time.
I did a lot to over compensate for not having a father around. I hope that we as men can begin to see the impact we can have on future generations. Men don't realize the power they posses! The strength its takes to refrain from making emotional choices. The discipline it takes to see a task through to the end (even when you're tired). The will to make tough choices for the benefit of your child (that you'll be hated for later) and not even bat an eye. These are some of the things men must learn to do so that they may teach their children.
I know for a fact that women do the job of fathers more times than not and though she does it, what does that say about men? Are we not capable of guiding future leaders and giving them the tools they need? I am thankful for the job my mom did with me. I just wondered what if sometimes?...What if he would have been around all this time? Would it've mattered?
I have good relationships with my kids and Im happy I made the decision to stay. Of course they are tight with their mother. I expect that. But I know that one day they'll know. They'll understand the sacrifice made for them. I just hope I'm around to see it. Often times the influence of a father isn't seen until years later. I've had to walk a long road without a father. A road with many twist and turns.
I've made some bad decisions along the way but I've learned from them. All of my experiences have made me into the man I have become. I have tried to do the best I can as a father and I hope to help aid my children along so they dont make the same mistakes I made. Mistakes that took more than a decade to fix. Mistakes that could land them in jail for years, mistakes that could make them teenage parents. mistakes that could kill them.
I dont want that for them. I want to be prouder of them than I am now and Im pretty damn proud of my kids! Its something to see them transform in front of your eyes but that's a perk of staying around! Brothers my message is simple. Don't ROB your children of your presence. Protect you seed. Nuture it, Sacrifice for it, and love it. Your influence is essential to the well being of the future. Your future! Remember it doesn't matter where you start the race just be a willing participant and see it through...Til the END. You'll be So Proud. Happy Father's Day. Be well. -A. Brown
